Hopkins Cribs: Building A Rm 401 (Living the High Life)

(To be read with a "snobbish" accent)

I would like to say that I am normal, but doing so would be a lie. I enjoy the finer things in life -cafeteria food, no car, 10am classes. It is clear that I am a member of the freshmen elite. Because of this, it is only right for me to reside where I do. The fourth floor of Building A. I would like to welcome all of you to this glimpse of the high life, in the penthouse.

This edifice is unlike any other that is intended for freshman housing. They are all special in their own ways, but building A is different. It's location reflects its superiority. It sits above the place where all freshman on campus dine together- Fresh Food Cafe. The architects built it in this location as a reminder to all that it is the place where the select few destined for real Hopkins greatness can lay their heads at night. I am lucky enough to dream my dreams of greatness on the penthouse level- where reality reflects the lives of champions.

Before I continue, I would like to remind you, pre-frosh, that the information I am sharing is confidential. I do not want to find it on the internet somewhere. (Oh wait...) Prepare yourselves for a tour, from the perspective of yours truly.

Midnight. My work is complete and exhaustion has set in. I deserve a reward, and  because I live in Building A, I receive one as soon as I walk toward the door. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing the faces of the AMR residents as they look through their windows at me - I reside in the penthouse and they know it. The security is tight. I greet the doorman, scan my J-Card (twice) and enter my home. I walk up the stairs- happy that I will soon enter my luxurious room.

Ah! There you are... just as I left you- Room 401. Papers and clothes scattered - a man's room. Building A is made up of suites, with two rooms and a bathroom. The average number of occupants in each suite is four, but not mine. My room is one of the few in the building that has no foyer when it is opened. NO! It is occupied by only my roommate and I. We also have our own bathroom. I really must commend the people who designed this building. They created these rooms for the best of the best- of course I'm in one of them. ("Snobbish" laugh)

So that we would not offend those in the AMRs (Kate, Jackie, Roxi), we decided  to keep the furnishings provided by Hopkins. To be honest, they are all I need. By the time someone as great as I am gets back to their room, all they want to do is sleep anyway. The changes that were made to my room were minor- a kitchen was installed, with the world's largest refrigerator. To sum it up, my room is perfect.

My hope is that one day you too can experience life in the penthouse. It is not meant for everyone, but for the select few who are lucky enough to follow in the footsteps of me, and my predecessors... CONGRATULATIONS. There is nothing that can compare to the penthouse. 

Comments

[JHU_Kate]

"So that we would not offend those in the AMRs (Kate, Jackie, Roxi), we decided to keep the furnishings provided by Hopkins." Psh, you're talking as though only people in the AMRs have to use the furniture provided by Hopkins, and as though people in the AMRs can't bring additional furniture of their own...

[Jessica]

this just made me really excited to go up to 4th floor tomorrow.

see you.