Five Years' Time

Posted by Stephanie D.

I don't mean to steal Josh's thunder with his song-lyric-inspired blog entries, but for some reason, everything in the past week has seemed to relate back to this song called Five Years' Time. The song is all about fluidity and the possibility that in five years' time, you might not even know anyone you know now, you might not speak at all. That sounds pretty depressing, huh? But the song is surprisingly upbeat. If you turn the lyrics upside down, it's actually a really optimistic concept: five years ago, you might not have known anyone you care about today. As I'm packing (...or staring at my closet, willing itself to pack) for my second year at school, I've been thinking a lot about this.

Friendships can be the most fluid or the most stable things in the world. Most of the people I'm closest with from home have been by my side for a long, long time - middle school or even earlier than that. When you're young, you get thrown into friendships sometimes by sheer randomness or chance - your parents are friends, or you're on the same soccer team, or you sit next to each other in homeroom. Some of these friendships are strong enough to weather the awkward and insecure pre-pubescent years, and some aren't. So you grow, and things drift away, and eventually most of the people you're close to will have become incredibly different from you but will also have seen you through every one of those awkward stages. (Photo on the left: my friends from home, most of whom I've known since I was itty-bitty.) College friends are just the opposite. (Photo on the lower right: you get the picture.)You meet your college friends when you're a fully formed - or nearly fully formed - adult. By the time you ship off to college, you know so much more about who you are, what you look for in relationships, and what you would have done differently in high school. Because of this, the whole trial-and-error process of making friends is incredibly expedited in college. You meet EVERYONE, all at once. During Orientation and the first several weeks of school, you run around campus, get thrown into a million social situations, try out clubs, eat meals at odd hours, walk back to the dorms with one person or another - and while it's overwhelming for everything to happen so quickly, it's also amazing. In the end, most likely, you'll settle down with a group of people that you nearly hand-picked from an already self-selecting class of over 1000 smart, interesting, creative students. Wow. Just writing about it makes me so excited to get back to campus, and my own niche within it.

I was talking to my best friend and future roommate, Amy, about this phenomenon today while we had our daily phone chat. Her little brother had just come home from his first day of first grade. (Feels like yesterday, huh? No? Eh?). He came into her room and announced that he had made a new friend. Amy asked what this new friend was like. "Well, she IS a girl..." he said, frowning. "BUT she likes Star Wars! So it's okay." Oh, if it were still as simple as that! Cons: gender. Pros: appreciation of science fiction movies. Done deal.

But the thing that's both paralyzing and thrilling about shipping off to college is that it doesn't have to be that simple anymore. So, class of '12 - if any of you aren't too busy with packing and goodbyes to actually read this - TRY THINGS OUT. That goes for clubs, friendships, classes, footwear, whatever; try it all on for size. That doesn't mean you shouldn't get passionate about any of these things if they fit right away - and some things, from the right friend to the right Professor, will present themselves so quickly it's almost funny - but some of these things will take time. This is an anecdote I still laugh about: first semester, I was in a five-person Philosophy section that met on Wednesday afternoons. Two of the students were sophomore boys who rarely came to class, and the other two were freshman girls just like myself. We sat next to each other for months. We hardly ever talked to each other, but we each secretly thought that the other two were really cool, prime friend material. I know this now because those two girls are two of my very best friends, Amy Marco and Katie Osborn (they both wrote Guest Blogs this past year...just a sidenote). But we didn't become friends until DECEMBER. Because we were too shy/tired/whatever to approach each other. We laugh about it now, all those months we wasted, but really, the point is, it's OKAY that we didn't hang out right away - because whatever is supposed to happen will eventually happen, and in the meantime, you should try things on and really get a chance to meet as many people as possible, in whatever situations arise.

So this post has been pretty light on the what-I've-done-lately recap, but really, I haven't done too much of note. Still working, still enjoying the comforts of home and Delman family dinners at precisely 7 pm and the proximity of the beach and the time I've spent with those friends I know so well. At the same time, still ridiculously, anxiously, jumping-out-of-my-skin excited about going returning to Hopkins in less than a week (!!!) and greeting the class of 2012 and seeing all those wonderful friends I've missed so much. So, final words: GOOD LUCK! - and - more importantly - don't stress too much. Everything will fall right into place.

Comments

[JHU_Kate]

Ahhhhh, I totally agree with your advice to the Class of '12 here! And hooray for friendships of all kinds.

[Anisha]

Really enjoyed reading this blog as well! As an '12er, your blog eased a lot of the social anxities and excitement building up.

[Jackie]

I'll admit, I'm a tiny bit insulted with your crediting Josh with the song lyric blogs. As much as I want to glorify Josh's blog, I did start the song lyric thing one year before...

Haha, regardless, great blog!

[JHU_Jessica]

I really enjoyed this blog Stephanie! I think it's my favorite one of yours. The writing and the message were both great. See you soon!

[Katie Schlossberg]

I like-a yo blog, friend. As always.

MISS YOUR PRETTY LITTLE FACE! Please keep in touch :-(

[Pawan]

Quite useful blog

[Sarah]

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Sarah