Ready or Not, College, Here I Come!

Name: Emily Sucher

Year: Class of 2012

Hometown: East Brunswick, NJ

Intended Major: Writing Seminars

**********************************************************************************************************************************

Although I’m a Jersey girl, a prototypical product of suburbia, I’ve always identified with city life. I thrive on hustle and bustle. I’m fast-talking and fashion-conscious (though never a label snob). I love art museums, going to the theater, and the general excitement associated with city lights, activity and glamour.

So it’s kind of ironic that one of my favorite places in the world is my grandparents’ little cottage in the Berkshires, up by the mountains, down the road from a quiet beach. This is where everything in my life decelerates to a gentle calm, where I can laze around as I please, make plans without a schedule. My mom and I set aside two weeks every summer to come up here and embrace the peace with Saba and Savta (“grandpa” and “grandma” in Hebrew, as I call my mother’s parents). This summer, before I begin my life as a posh scholarette at the prestigious Johns Hopkins University, I cherish my time here most of all.

Here, I cling to the warmth and security of my childhood. Here, my Savta cuts my grilled cheese sandwich into triangles and toasts it to a perfect crispy crunch without being black and inedible. Here, my Saba and I play cards and he humors me when I insist the game doesn’t count when I lose. Here, my mom and I take time to discuss things we’d never have time for at home, like what my dog is thinking when she makes her funny little purring noises (yes, my dog purrs like a cat and it’s really cute!) or which of us makes better chocolate pudding (I’m better than Mom, but Savta wins hands down). …Here, I wonder, “Am I ready for this? Am I really going to college?”

Sure, I’ve proven I can succeed under pressure and stress, with an AP/honors curriculum and various extra-curriculars – I worked pretty darn hard to earn my place at JHU, thank you very much! Still, college is different from high school. High school, while not exactly a blast, was familiar, a routine. College is starting anew, a big empty space in my future.

I wonder whether I’m prepared for the independence and responsibility of being a college student. College always seemed so far away and now all of a sudden, I have a roommate and we’re emailing each other about bed sheets and comforters for a dorm that I will be living in less than a month from today.

Sometimes, when I’m in one of my reflective, philosophical moods, I need to step back and consider how surreal this is. It’s like on your birthday when you search and search for any signs of looking or feeling older, but you feel the same as you did the day before and the day before that, and you lose track trying to pinpoint the exact day you changed from being nine to ten, fifteen to sixteen, or like now, seventeen to eighteen years old. Even though you can’t see or believe it right away, you are eighteen to the world. Likewise, while I may not comprehend being a college-bound freshman just yet, I am one – ready or not, I’m going to JHU.

While I have my moments of doubt, these moments are fleeting, and I ultimately am certain that this is what’s meant to happen. The campus visit back in April and the abundance of facebook groups have done their part in assuaging my nerves and solidifying Johns Hopkins in my mind as the school for me. My feelings have evolved into zealous enthusiasm and now I can hardly wait to start! The experience of preparing for Johns Hopkins has taught me to view the newness of college – and of my future in general – not as a blank slate but a clean one, eager to be filled in with lasting friendships, life lessons and unexpected adventures.

My grandparents’ beach house is a haven, a safety net. Granted, the real world isn’t like this and can’t ever slow down the way it seems to here. However, I’ve learned to internalize this feeling and utilize it to comfort myself as needed. The key is to balance the buzz of Baltimore with the tranquility of the Berkshires, maintaining a strong sense of self wherever I am. Independence, being a college student, living away from home – it’s not about being instantly ready for everything life demands; rather, it’s taking everything as it comes and learning to adapt, rising up again when you fall, and surging ahead with a positive attitude.

Meanwhile, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my summer, and look ahead to joining the fantastic Class of 2012!

Comments

[Alex Hittman]

This is a great blog entry, Emily! I totally connect with the mixed feelings of unsureness and excitement about college, the unknown.

[JHU_Mandy]

And as you learn to adapt, having a happy place you can go to in your mind (the way you described the Berkshires makes it sound like the perfect happy place) will be a wonderful thing sometimes. :) Welcome to Hopkins!

[Admissions_Daniel]

Emily,
This is such a great entry. As Alex said, you really got to the crux of the mixed emotions so many incoming freshmen experience those last few weeks before move-in. I got really jealous when you spoke about relaxing with your grandparents this summer ... I unfortunately did not get to share the joy of going to college with my grandparents. Cherish each of the next few days before move-in ... and get ready to have the time of your life.
Cheers!

[JHU_Lauren]

This is such a beautiful blog! It really is true that, when you're the most comfortable and most at ease, you sometimes start to let those worries get to you -- it's easy to wonder if you're making the right decision to leave everything you've grown to know and love. I'm glad you're going to have a summer like this one to look back on fondly and remember when times get rough .. but, as Daniel said, you really will have the time of your life. Enjoy your first year!

Oh, and a BIG welcome to Writing Seminars .. we're happy to have you! You're going to love it. :)

[JHU_Jessica]

I really enjoyed this blog. I agree with Mandy, I think it will be great to have a haven to come back to. I think you've definitely have had a reflective summer and are ready for all the things Hopkins will give to you.

[JHU_Jessica]

PS Yeah New Jersey!