May 10, 2008

oh, the life of a chemistry-obsessed student

So the day before my orgo final (sometime last Thursday), I decided to take a quick shot of my study area and show you how insane I was.  I got up to start some coffee and when I came back I realized that my bed was really almost funny with all the chemistry, and since I didn't get a chance to post a cribs blog, this is kind of a pseudo-mini-cribs video. ...or something like that.

to the incoming freshmen: don't do this to yourself :)

There was method to the madness--I promise!!

P.S. Mom and Dad, I promise I won't let my room at home get this bad.  ...okay, I promise that I'll TRY not to let it get this bad. :) Love you both and see you soon!

May 05, 2008

a quick update and my 30-day experiment

Just a brief update:

Img_1976 The last day of classes was Friday, which means it's full-on study mode now...not without a brief celebration, of course.  Starting around 11 or 12 on Friday, there was a ninja party on Img_1977 the beach.  Yes, you read right...ninja party.  There were those sumo suits, an inflatable obstacle course, dogs running around, snowcones, cotton candy, and of course a ninja fight.  It was a bit bizarre...we were just hanging out, playing with dogs and all of a sudden hear yelling, then look up and see some guys lined up across from each other, one side with plastic swords and kids on each others' shoulders, the other with water balloons and an umbrella (?).  Anyway, that was quite amusing to Img_1982say the least.

After my wonderful teeth-coloring snowcone, I headed back to start studying.  It's been pretty relaxing so far, and I've been pretty good about that whole sleeping business.  Believe it or not, I'm not extraordinarily caffeinated.  At least for my usual tendencies.

One last update: I've taken a 30-day "pledge" to vegetarianism.  It's kind of an experiment, in an attempt to improve my health and see how it goes.  There are a ton of other benefits as well, but I'll refrain from preaching and just tell you to check it out if you're interested. :)  So far, so good, I already feel more energized and just generally "well."  The website www.goveg.com proved very informative and interesting--check it out if you're interested or just curious.

And with that I'll have to say my goodbyes, as it's just about bedtime and I have a busy day of studying tomorrow!

May 01, 2008

reflecting

My sincere apologies for the delay in updating my blog.  As you may have already read, it's been a rough semester for me health-wise.  What blows my mind, though, is that TWO WEEKS from today, I'll be on my way back home.  It's absolutely insane that I'm almost done with my freshman year!

So I was feeling a bit sentimental or something, and decided to count down my most memorable events from my freshman year, along with my advice pertaining to the topic and my experiences.  Here we go:

Early_look_at_fy_2008_budget 6. First-semester money spending.  I spent a lot of money on little things here and there during the first semester that really added up!  Little trips to the mall for a shirt here, a bagel and juice there, etc.  Once I started keeping track of it, I couldn't believe it!  Since then, I've definitely gotten better about it. 
--Advice to future freshmen: balance your budget!

5. Intersession:  I had the most wonderful time doing almost nothing during Intersession.  I took one class, but I mostly just slept in ridiculously late and tried to get pumped for the second semester.  Unfortunately, all that sleeping meant not enough time studying and being sure I understood last semester's material before building on it (particularly in Organic Chem).
--Advice to future freshmen: Do something productive during Intersession!  I had a hard time getting adjusted to my classwork after being so lazy all of January.

4. The day I found out I 'talk funny.'   :) Pardon the grammar, it was just sort of a joke once I was told by a few crazy kids from Massachusetts that I have a slight southern accent on certain words.  We like to exaggerate it and say things in a stereotypically southern way, mostly because "they learned me real good down south."  Apparently, I say "chem" a bit drawn out, which was perfect to them because I said it allllll the time.  Now I just call it "orgo."
--Advice to future freshmen: Southerners talk funny.  ...just kidding. But be excited for all the different people you'll meet!

Img_19743. The day I declared my major.  I wrote a blog about it, too!  I was so excited about finally finding something that I just LOVE.  It's crazy, but every time I see organic compound figures, I get really happy and think of all the reactions they can do. :) [picture: some of my vials of product from the Organic Chemistry lab...ignore the "Wellbutrin" that is yellow, there's no telling what I actually made]
--Advice to future freshmen: Find out what it is that you love and do it!

2. The first exam that I got a low percentage on.  In high school, I was so used to 50% being considered terrible.  It was really hard to adjust to the fact that sometimes, a 83/150 (hypothetically...?) is actually quite good!  I also had a tough time realizing that exams are supposed to be challenging; they're not meant to boost up your grade, they're meant to separate students' levels, unfortunately.
--Advice to future freshmen: Grades do matter in college, but don't get so caught up in it all.  If you're spending all your time worrying about what grade you'll get on the next exam, you're more likely to blank out during that exam when all you can think about is how you need 159 points out of the next 300 points, distributed over 2 exams, in order to get a B+ in a class.  That one really was hypothetical, but the advice was definitely serious!

1. 2011collage Of course...MOVE IN DAY!  I was so excited.  I remember so many random things about it, like the way the building smelled, the dirt on my carpet before any of my stuff was even there, what I wore...but there are so many things that are just completely blank, such as what I did after moving in/unpacking, what I did that night, what I thought while walking away from my parents' car to get my J-card while they unloaded...it's strange how much I forgot! [picture: from the Orientation website!]
--Advice to future freshmen: If you want to remember things like this, keep a journal.  I really wish I had been more regular in my journaling, this is SUCH an exciting time and I'd love to have it documented for later on.
--Advice to future freshmen, part b: Enjoy Orientation, it's one of the most fun experiences you'll have while at Hopkins!

April 10, 2008

live and learn

Greetings from the other side of several very busy weeks!  While I'd love to say that it's all downhill from here, that's definitely not the case.  Allow me to offer a brief account of what has been going on in my life this semester.  I'm about to divulge details of my personal life, but I think it's potentially useful to any prospective students (or incoming students) who would like to hear both sides of the "spectrum," so to speak.  DISCLAIMER: it may seem like I'm whining about my grades, but there is a point!

It's been a rough semester for me, and that's a bit of an understatement.  I'll spare you from a long sob story, but the gist of it is this: despite my strongest efforts (and then some), I'm struggling with my classes, due to chronic migraines that require a daily battle just to function.  Please don't interpret that as self-pity;  it's something I've come to terms with a long time ago and have just recently been able to recognize the fact that maybe serious pain affects schoolwork (...no kidding, huh?). 

Anyway, after I was dissatisfied with my grades on the first round of midterms, Dandelion_puff_xl_1I challenged myself to re-evaluate the ways I study.  It was quite a challenge to constantly ask myself, "Is this really a good way to use my time?" especially because I was doing things the way I had always done them.  I worked extremely hard and felt like I was making the best of my study time, which is absolutely necessary since study time can, at any point, be cut short if I let the headache win.  I felt pretty good about things, but guess what?  I seemed to have forgotten that I'm taking other courses. 

After working harder than I've ever worked before, I was still very disappointed with my grade on the next exam.  Okay, "disappointed" is an understatement.  After a pity party, I decided it was time to ask for help (gasp!). 

I've always been stubborn, and while I have been seeing a professor for help, I decided to take it a step further.  I met with the Associate Dean of Student Life who gave me advice as to what my options are for this semester, as well as what I can do in the future, then I met with my professor to discuss my exam.  While I was frustrated with myself for waiting this far into the semester, they both commended me for being assertive and not waiting until a year or two down the road.  Good point, I figured.  It could always be worse. 

So now here I am, about four weeks from the end of the semester, and the end of my freshman year.  I've takenDocument1 to learning things the hard way, and while I could sit here and wish on every last star that I had done "this," "that," or "the other," the most important thing is that I have learned.  Yes, of course I've learned that F = ma (right, Dad?); Gillman reagents tend to add 1,4 on the enol; fume hoods exist for a reason and it is a very good idea to keep dichloromethane in one; etc. 

However, some of my most important lessons were personal.  I'm learning how to learn, and in the process finding out more about myself.  While it would have been much more convenient to have done this before taking such difficult courses, I can guarantee that I will NEVER forget these hard-learned lessons.  Always be open and never stop questioning yourself: the most important thing I've learned this year.

March 22, 2008

Hopkins CRIBS - Wolman East - 511B

Welcome to 511B, the cozy little corner in Wolman East that I call home.  Sit back, relax, and enjoy the tour. 

Img_1950a 1. The entrance.   I promise it's not as messy as it looks.    Straight ahead is my bowl chair--often used more as a coat rack than an actual place to sit.  On the left is my desk chair.  At the time of the picture, it was holding my bookbag--I was just about to leave for the airport to come home for spring break.

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2. Img_1951a Upon entering, immediately on the left, you'll see my wardrobe and part of my desk.  Right now it's serving as a multi-purpose shelf for whatever random things I can't find a place for, including: Clorox wipes, instant coffee, Dove chocolate bunnies, empy vases (usually filled with pretty flowers, but not right before break). 
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 3.  As you turn slightly clockwise, you get a better view of Img_1952a my desk and see a bit of my chair/coat rack.  My desk i s amazingly clean right now, it's  usually covered in books and papers.  You can also see my calendars and my Brooks Robinson picture above them.  Any good Orioles fan has to have Brooks somewhere nearby.  Anyway, I use my calendars to write out all the big assignments and exams I have coming up, for two months at a time so I can get an idea of what's ahead of me.  If you look closely, you can see several things highlighted--those are all my exams...there's a lot of them...
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 4. Img_1954a A bit more of a clockwise turn brings you to the chair, my  daffodils, and my favorite study spot: my bed.  I kept my Christmas lights up after winter break because they're so much less harsh than the fluorescent lights in the room.  They're really nice for reading right before bed. 

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Img_1961a 5. Here's just another view of my bed.  I searched far and wide last summer for a bedspread or quilt and finally found this one from Anthropologie.  I was afraid it might be a bit much but I love all the colors--it's happy!  I'm also showing off my new poster...yes, it's a periodic table.  It's so useful and pretty though!

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Img_1955a 6. Here's the end of my bed.  Believe it or not, my intention wasn't to show you the messy little corner I have.  I was trying to get a picture of how high my bed is; it's a half-loft and fits two stacked drawers underneath.

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Img_1956a 7. Just to the left of my door is this wall. This has my To-Do list and pictures from high school/home.  The list is one I wrote out early in the first semester, and it's not your traditional to-do list.  This one includes: have a tea party (check), befriend a dog (check), visit the farmer's market (check), knit a sweater (yet to be done), etc.

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Img_1963a 8.  As the tour concludes, here's another shot of my wardrobe and the area just to the right of my door (when facing the door, that is).  I have my Organic Chemistry SparkChart, and you can see more of the miscellaneous things that have found a home on top of my wardrobe.

March 11, 2008

drum roll, please...

The big announcement:  I've declared a major!

...and it's not Neuroscience.

You've probably guessed it: I'm a Chem major! 

Img_1939But I do plan to double major in Chemistry and Neuroscience (I just found out today that it's allowed), but you don't declare a second major until later.  As for the roadImg_1938 that's gotten me here, it's been long and bumpy, even though it's only been several months.  I started taking Organic Chemistry to fulfill the pre-med requirement, going into it with the mindset that it was a "means to an end."   Needless to say, that didn't get me very far, as my first exam grade made clear.  However, something happened.  I really started to enjoy  the material and even though it's the hardest class I have ever taken and the hardest class I can possibly imagine, I WANT to work for it.  It's a constant challenge, but to me, it's worth it. 

I have no idea how I'll manage both, but I'm looking forward to taking it all on.  It'll be a bit crazy at times, but it's what I love. 

March 09, 2008

busybusybusybusy

Dali_clockLet me just say: I'm really not a fan of Daylight Saving Time.  I already feel like there aren't enough hours in the day, it just seems like a cruel trick to take one away from us!  It is kinda nice to have more daylight, but I still would prefer to have my hour back.

Anyway, it's been another busy week and weekend as we head closer to spring break.  I have Visual_dev_illus one more exam this coming week and then two right after spring break, then one every week in April (except for one glorious week that I don't have one, and one week that has two...).  I'm trying to catch up/get ahead in everything to make sure I don't lose momentum after spring break.  It's crazy though, we only have about a month and a half of classes until it's time for finals.   I'm still trying to figure out where all the time has gone.  I'll blame it on Daylight Saving Time...even though that makes no sense.

As of right now, I have a lot of carbonyl molecules, physics problems, and neuroscience diagrams floating around my head...I'm also working on editing a couple of videos for our video blog--keep an eye out for those!  Aside from that, I use my time to eat and occasionally sleep or shower.  Okay so I'm kidding Carbonylabout the last part, I promise I do actually shower daily. 

I apologize for the short blog, but I have a very exciting week coming up and I hope to be making a BIG announcement around Tuesday or Wednesday.  Check back then, as I hope to include all you readers in something I'm very excited about.  I'll give you a hint:  I think I'm almost, maybe, sorta starting to figure out what I want to do with my life. :)

March 02, 2008

jhu_mandy favorites

This week, my fellow Hopkins Interactive students and I have decided to change things up a bit and all present a common blog topic.  Through the blogs and message boards, we really enjoy providing you with a glimpse of our lives here at Hopkins while trying to show what your future could hold, if you choose to make the decision many consider the best of our lives to date--the decision to become a Hopkins student.   However, in addition to detailing life here at Hopkins, we also enjoy getting to talk about the totally random things we love.  We're people too!  Well, sorta...Anyway, just like we've done with the OFF-TOPIC DISCUSSION FORUM of the message boards, we're taking a break from talks about Hopkins and discussing our favorite things--all the aspects of our lives that make us who we are.

So here we present our personal answers to a common survey of our favorite things,including books, movies, television, and much more.  I suggest you check out some of the other bloggers' surveys as well, and head over to the message board to check out the surveys of some Hopkins Interactive members who don't write a weekly blog.  Be warned, we're about to get REALLY random.

Who is your favorite author?: Ralph Waldo Emerson and Franz Kafka.

What is your favorite website?: Facebook, eBay, Nordstrom...I like to "window shop" online, if that makes sense.Img_1899

What is your favorite item in your bedroom?: My flowers; I often have fresh flowers, thanks to Mike.  I also happen to LOVE my new super-thick mattress pad my parents bought me...as if I needed any more reasons to be tempted to sleep in!

What, in your opinion, has been the greatest invention of your time?:  Probably the internet.  and the iPhone, but that's just because I happen to be obsessed with it.

What is your favorite news source?:  BBC.com for world news.  I used to like CNN.com a lot, but I feel like it's becoming more and more useless things.  I hate when I am on their website and the "hot topics" menu includes Britney Spears but not anything of real international meaning.  CNN is okay for entertainment purposes and to follow major trials, but when I want to know what's going on in the world, it's BBC.

What is your favorite movie series?: Shrek.  I usually don't like sequels, but I loved Shrek 1 and 2 (still haven't seen the third).

What is your favorite time of day? Why?:  I love the morning if I can actually feel awake and not just be wishing to go back to sleep.  I just like the color of the sky and the general feelings of quiet and calm that a new day brings!

Who is your favorite one-hit wonder?: EDITED: I originally didn't know, but I remembered the song "Blue" by Eiffel 65.  I just like all the memories I associate with the time it came out and was popular

Img00085Which famous person, living or dead, would you like to have a cup of tea with?: Oh, gosh, there are so many...Jack Kerouac, Emerson, Kafka...all would be interesting.  Probably most of all, I'd like to have tea with Linus Pauling.  Maybe he could explain all of chemistry to me.

What is your favorite quote?:  It depends on the mood, I have a lot that fit different things, but one I particularly like is Oscar Wilde saying, "I like persons better than principles and persons with no principles better than anything in the world."  I also love when Dr. Seuss said, "You are you.  Now isn't that pleasant?"

Are you a dog person? Cat person? An "other" person? Why?:  Img_1715 DOGS.  I am OBSESSED with my dachshund, Dixie.  I have had the privilege of growing up with at least one dog in the house (at one time we had four), and I just love every single dog I ever meet.  I love big dogs because they're so friendly and just generally goofy--particularly a rottweiler we used to have--but I love that small dogs can cuddle up with you.  There are few better feelings than to come home and have a dog just SO happy to see you.  And you know it's genuine too.  :)

What is your favorite game?:  I don't really ever play board games, but I like Scrabble and Pictionary.  As for sports, I LOVE baseball and I'm an avid Orioles fan (no hating necessary, I'm well aware that they're not a good team).

Who is your favorite TV villian?:  I actually don't watch enough shows to have one.  When I do watch television, it's usually the Discovery Channel or movies on TV.

Where is the one place in the world you would want to visit?:  Just one...oh dear, this is tough.  I guess I'd have to pick Spain.  I've been once and just fell absolutely in love with it, Northwestern Spain especially.  Other than that, pretty much anywhere, I'd just love to see things.

Pict1960What is your favorite guilty pleasure?: Eating crunchy peanut butter straight out of the jar. Sometimes with a spoon, sometimes with my finger.  But always crunchy, never the creamy kind.

To finish the survey, we will be stealing questions used at the end of Inside the Actor's Studio.  James Lipton, the host of the show, always finishes each interview with a questionnaire invented by the great Bernard Pebo.  Here goes:

  • What is your favorite word? -- "dedo" (Spanish for "finger.")  I just love how it sounds
  • What is your least favorite word? -- anything vulgar.
  • What turns you on (creatively, spiritually, or emotionally)? -- Gospel Choirs, cold crisp air, soft music, understanding chemistry (seriously...I love to understand the world on the atomic level! I get so happy and mentally productive), when you can see the good in people.
  • What turns you off? -- hypocrisy, disloyalty, loud noises, strong smells, obnoxiousness, and people who choose to remain ignorant.
  • Bin1402What sound or noise do you love? -- I really like the sound of some big thick chalk on chalkboard, haha...you know, like the tapping type noise.  I also love music, obviously.  I like the sound of turn signals, canaries (and most other birds), wind, water currents/waves.  When I was younger, I liked to play with dry beans because of the noise they made when you'd drop a handful slowly into the bag...also those rainstick things with the cactus needles in them.  haha, I wasn't kidding when I said things were going to get random.
  • What sound or noise do you hate? -- The aforementioned people who choose to remain ignorant that happen to talk REALLY loudly (if you hadn't guessed, I overheard some very annoying conversation this past weekend); screeching tires (I've been in a bad car accident); erasers on chalkboards or normal pencil erasers on paper; screechy violin noises (I heard my fair share of those in 6th grade beginning orchestra)
  • BrainpicWhat profession would you like to attempt? -- I'd love to be a practicing Neurologist in a hospital and also have a J.D. and work with legal mental health issues, such as innocence by insanity and just general mental health system reform.
  • What profession would you absolutely not like to attempt? -- I could never be a politician.
  • Finally, if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? -- "Your efforts and empathy were not in vain."

To comment or debate any of my answers, or just to share your views and continue the discussion with me, be sure to head over to MY PERSONAL MESSAGE BOARD THREAD.  I look forward to hearing from you all!  And as always, if you have any Hopkins-related questions, don't hesitate to ask them there as well, I'm always happy to answer anything.

February 24, 2008

veritas vos liberabit: the other side of the story

Logojhuseal Veritas vos liberabit.  The Johns Hopkins University seal (logo? I don't know what you call it) has this written on it.  Translated from Latin, it means "The truth will set you free."  Taking a little of that spirit, it's time for my honest thoughts about life here.

So I decided to try something a bit different this week...probably because I've been pretty busy studying instead of doing things you'd care to read about.  Anyway, it was inspired by this message board thread (HERE), in which Hopkins students share the things they'd change about Hopkins, I'd like to elaborate on my answers.  As a general disclaimer, if this is your first time reading my blog (or if you just need reminding), I LOVE HOPKINS.  I feel like I really belong here and am indescribably grateful for the opportunities I've been given (thanks Dad and Mom). 

That being said, when I saw the message board thread, I was able to think of a few things off the top of my head I'd like to see changed.  So, here are my original responses (in bold), now with more elaboration (italicized):

1. I'd like to go back to the MTW and ThF schedule for classes
My first semester, the University held classes on MTW or ThF, but this semester the classes meet MWF or TTh.  I prefer the old way, but I don't have a good reason. Probably just because I'm a creature of habit.  :)

2. In the neighborhood--obviously this is one Hopkins can't fix itself--have some kind of hang out spot for weekend nights for students not interested in the partying. There's stuff to do off-campus, but it'd be nice to have somewhere closeby you can go--basically, the same idea as a bar but without the drinking. This one's a bit far-fetched.

Okay, so this one I didn't state very clearly.  If you look at the discussion thread I linked to above, JHU_Kate said it better: we could really use a student union.  I think that's the general idea I was trying to get at, though I didn't think about it being something on campus, I thought of more like a late-night coffee place or something of the sort.  The reason I said it was far-fetched is simply because it doesn't seem likely that a business like this would just happen to pop up somewhere nearby.

3. bridge the gap between the community and the institution (by institution, I mean both the medical campus and the University itself). This one's a constant effort, and Hopkins does seem to be trying.

It's an unfortunate reality, but Baltimore has it's issues just like any other large city.  There's poverty,Jhhthumb gang activity, high prevalence of HIV, violence (usually gang-related), and other crime.  Hopkins is extraordinarily safe, both the University and the medical campus, but it's like we live in a bubble and many students are completely unaware of this.  We are truly privileged to live the way we do, but the reality is that much of the Baltimore population is struggling in multiple ways.  There are several student groups that are involved with the community in some way or another, and Johns Hopkins himself gave the money for the hospital to be built to "serve the people of Baltimore, regardless of their ability to pay."  (Okay, not a direct quote, but I learned that at my hospital volunteer orientation).  Anyway, as I said before, this is a constant effort, one that will not be 'fixed' instantly or easily.  I just feel that students should do more to be aware of the city they live in for ~9 months of the year and to give back to those less fortunate.


4. Allow more options for double majoring within the natural sciences

This one's pretty self-explanatory.  There are limits on double-majoring in natural sciences because of the overlap of course requirements.  I only say this because I would love to double-major in Neuroscience and Chemistry.  It's not impossible, though.  I'm planning to contact my academic adviser and the two departments.

5. More on-campus housing options for juniors and seniors. Maybe my mind will have changed by then, but living on campus just seems so much more convenient.

Also pretty self-explanatory.  I just love living on campus and being so close to everything.  The dorm security is also unbelievable.  I feel so safe!


627 So as I mentioned before, I love this University and all of the amazing opportunities it provides for students.  However, nothing is perfect and I wanted to offer my opinions that I've gained over the past semester (almost semester and a half--time flies!).  If you have any questions about something I've said, feel free to ask away on my personal message board thread, HERE.  If you are of a different opinion and care to share, please do so--either on the message board thread I linked to or in the comments section of this blog.

February 18, 2008

full speed ahead

So it seems that the semester is in full swing and it's kind of slipping out from under my feet.  I'm not sure when this happened, but somehow we've gotten to the fourth week already!  And, for me and many others, this means the first round of midterms.   Yikes!  I have Physics this coming Thursday, Neuroscience the following Monday, and then Organic Chemistry the Thursday after that.  Needless to say, it's going to be a busy couple of weeks trying to make sure I'm prepared!

Homeimga_sm_41 This past weekend, I had the privilege to completely relax and unwind with my mother.  She flew in on Friday and we spent most of our time watching movies and doing other lazy things.  We did go down to the harbor on Saturday night for an AMAZING dinner at McCormick and Schmicks.  I must say, if you're ever able to go all out for a seafood dinner, this is the place to do it. 

Other than that, I've just been recovering from some nasty little cold bug and trying to fit everything into the day.  Tomorrow I'm hoping to make it down to the medical campus to turn in the necessary forms and get my volunteer badge, then FINALLY start working with the doctor I've been in touch with since November. 

Today had an absolutely beautiful morning, hitting about 70 degrees with sun and big puffy clouds.  Unfortunately, as I was on my way to my afternoon class (having changed into a t-shirt and flip flops after the morning), it happened to have gotten much cooler and it started raining.  Oh well...it was a nice break from the winter while it lasted!

Kornberg1_600 This post is all over the place, but one last thing!  This Wednesday, the 2006 winner of the Nobel Prize in Chemistry is speaking on campus!  Dr. Roger Kornberg is the son of Dr. Arthur Kornberg, who won the Nobel Prize in Medicine in 1959.  The elder Dr. Kornberg passed away in 2007, but I assume that means he was able to see his son win the award.  I just can't imagine how proud he must have been!  Dr. Kornberg also had another son, who is a professor of Biochemistry in California.  Quite the family, huh? [[the picture is Dr. Arthur Kornberg and Dr. Roger Kornberg]]Mypicture

I hope to give a mid-week update with something exciting...who knows what, but hopefully more exciting than my ramblings of this blog.  Until next time, I'll leave you with a quote.  I opened to a random page in one of my favorite books and read the first line I saw.  It's an OLD copy of some of Emerson's works.  I bought it at a used book sale in Gilman.

"This floor holds us up by a fight with agencies that go to pull us down.  The whole world is a series of balanced antagonisms."  Ralph Waldo Emerson.   (...huh?)