I vowed off scary movies a couple years ago. I apparently almost completely cut off circulation to a friend’s hand from gripping too hard, but I had no idea that http://www.weather.com could be as, if not more, terrifying than anything Hollywood has pumped out in a while.
What do I mean? Well, I don’t know if anyone out there has been following, or affected by Hurricane Ike, but last Thursday I opened up my browser to see this staring back at me.
Terrifying. Hideous. Absurdly large, and bee-lining straight for my home: Houston, TX.
And here I am, safe and sound a world away. I guess this is the other side of the out-of-state college coin. All I wanted when I was searching for schools was to get as far away from Houston as I could. I wanted out of Texas, out of the south, out! But now I’m here, and my family and home are not ... I wish I could be there, even though I know there isn’t much I could really do.
So in these early days after the storm, I just want to send my thoughts and condolences out to anyone who was affected by Ike. Just because the media coverage has stopped doesn’t mean that the crisis is over, and I know for a lot of people back home this is just the beginning of a long, painful battle with FEMA and insurance companies.
I decided on Friday that I’m not a fan of the phrase “I hope it changes course” when people are offering their condolences about these impending natural disasters. Because really, at the end of the day that’s someone’s home and family that will be hurt or lose everything, and I can’t imagine wishing that on anyone. Therefore I propose a resolution or a petition or something to change the acceptable colloquial phrase to “I hope it stalls and loses strength”. Why yes, funny you mention it, that IS me using humor to try and cope with a disaster.
So really, this blog I dedicate to anyone far from home with loved ones who were affected by Hurricane Ike. I need to collect my thoughts better but there are so many in the Clear Lake and Galveston areas who lost everything, so good luck going home Houstonians, I’m sure I’m not the only one far away wishing you nothing but good news.
As I write, I'm struggling to find the words that can express this incredible abyss of emotions I'm feeling. My dad used to tell me as a kid to speak better whenever I would use slang or would mutter or not enunciate. He would make sure I spoke clearly because the purpose for language is to convey ideas.
I think this is really the first time in my life I've been at a complete loss, and I'm not convinced that English has the right words or anything that could even come close to conveying as helpless, hopeless, and small I feel compared to how many people back home are suffering. Time for a new language....ciao until I find some new words.
Hey guys...I’m sitting here, not believing that this summer has passed so quickly! My internship is going amazingly and I’ve just recently turned in all my final papers and I’m just working on my exit presentation to be given to my mentor.
If you can believe it I’m somewhat sitting in the middle of a tropical storm. I had really great aspirations for reporting in real time what it’s like to go through a tropical storm but, fortunately, it was quite pathetic. NASA closed half way through Monday and I went home and helped my mother get the house ready for foul weather.
I also got today, Tuesday, off, and though we were all planning on terrible, awful, end of the world storm, it was basically a bit drizzly and there wasn’t any flash flooding by my house or anything, which was VERY much welcomed. After Rita hit in 2006 sometimes people joke about tropical storms and hurricanes coming through but not me, no sir-ee. I remember evacuating and 
driving for hours in the heat, not being able to turn your air conditioner on because you’d overheat your car in the traffic. Or having friends stuck in traffic and abandoning their cars but the mobile lines are jammed because too many people are on the. Absolutely not acceptable conditions to joke about.
But that’s my soapbox.
In other news my internship is finally coming to a close. I’ve included pictures of my desk (with all my lovely hand-made ECG signs). I can’t believe I taught myself to read those things all by myself! I’ve also got my posters from the Japanese flight surgeon who shared my office with me this summer.
I’m so proud of the work I’ve done - and the most surprising lesson I’ve learnt has been in medical ethics. I consider myself superbly fortunate to have found a profession that intrigues me and to which, even before I can be a major contributor to the field, I really enjoy going to work every day.
This summer it’s been drilled home to me how important personal happiness is. Who cares about how much money you’re going to make or what your potential for getting bonuses are? Well, I’m sure there are people out there but gee wiz I wouldn’t want to be one!
Find something you’re passionate about, something that you enjoy and something that you can do and love 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Sounds pretty intense if you ask me. ..and I know it's cliche but I can't think of a better way to figure out if you really want to do something with the rest of your life than by interning.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about the kind of interning that "you do because you want to get into medical school" or "it will look good on a resume." I'm talking about interning in a field you're actually interested in. Since I've come 
home I've become acutely aware of how many people my age chose their majors or their desired professions not because they LOVE pharmacology or because they want to help people through the law or because they care about each and every individual's health ... no they've chosen their life paths by which field you get the most money in or which field will have a "deficit" in 10 year so they'll be guaranteed a job. Both excellent reasons, don't get me wrong, and maybe it's just me but I absolutely can't fathom living my life not loving what I do...and maybe that's one of the grand delusions that will get smashed to itsy bitty little morsels when I get out of college but for now, in my blissful 20-years-of-existence I'm thoroughly convinced that loving what you do is the only way to go, and by golly I'm pursuing my dream to the end of the world (and beyond if I get lucky enough...)
At any rate, now that my person is out of the immediate danger of Edouard (it was actually somewhat sunny this afternoon, go figure!) I’m going to go to sleep to get ready for work bright and early tomorrow.
Italy countdown: T-mi
nus 6 days!!!
Okay so for as productive and useful I have found myself being as I'm in the office from 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. I still have had ample stare-at-the-walls-of-your-office-time-and-contemplate-your-life-up-to-this-point time. So this is going to be a retrospective post. I'm finally settling into the routine of my day and I think I'm at quite the crossroads in my college/life experience so lets see how far I've come just in the last 9 months...
Right so lets start with last summer : I took physics so that studying abroad would fit into my pre-med plans and volunteered at the Texas Children's Hospital. In all honestly summer school was kind of hard for me, not because the class was absurdly challenging (then again after Orgo this year most things do tend to pale in compariston!) but because after a long year of studying in school all I really wanted was a mental break but I had to force myself to work and focus because even though that class didn't feel all that important it would still go into my Med school application. BAH! So what'd I l earn from that experience? Don't underestimate summer school. Yes, most people do do better in the classes they take over summer school because they can focus on one thing at a time, but I'd also consider the psychological consequences when deciding if I ever wanted to do it again: like possibly burning out while you're taking that class after a hard year of studying or maybe having lots of other "summertime" distractions like friends who are just hanging out that'll keep you from doing your best.
So then my epic journey back to Hopkins! I can't believe Daniel and I drove 24 hours to Pittsburgh, down to DC then up to Boston to pick up Camilla and chill at my grandparent's house before finally moving into my new dorm, McCoy 405A baby! I'm absolutely one of those people who hates the first day of school and basically starting new things because I don't like not being in control and knowing everything about anything thats going on around me but I must say I had so much fun at the beginning of sophomore year. It was great being back on campus and being back to being a college kid (sorry mom and dad!) but then transitioning into having my own kitchen and our own bathroom and cooking dinners with my suitmates and just seeing everybody from freshman year and hearing about the cool and amazing things they'd done - I love how Hopkins kids can always provide you with some craaaaaaazy story about the incredible places they've been or out of control stuff they've been researching.
And then, all hell broke loose. Biochemistry and Organic Chemistry I started kicking my butt and the 17 hours of classes I was taking got majorly overwhelming. ANOTHER thing I learnt this year: don't let anyone tell you you can't have a social life and still be pre-med. Sure, my life at times was a nightmare and I spent way more than my fair share at the libaray working, but that didn't mean I couldn't do the extracurriculars that keep me sane. I still played for the band and got to go see Wynton Marsalis and one of my FAVOURITE bands of all time, The Blow. Maybe it means working that hard during the week after classes when really all you want to do is veg out and watch a season of Scrubs or something. All this year even though I was taking tons of demanding science classes I made it a priority to schedule in fun-for-roxi time, and I'm glad I did or I might have gone absolutely batty!
Oh I totally forgot about this post, I really wanted to do little biographies on lots of my friends but for some reason stopped at three...but here were the first Meet-Roxi's-Friends focus people.
Then came that point in the semester where the germs floating around my dorm usually getting the best of me and I got sick and gave a what-not-to-do evaluation of Health and Wellness on campus. Haha looking over that it's pretty amusing, if for nothing else because I sound like a mother hen...man I'm a loser.
Halloween this year, however, was a ton of fun. I went down to Fell's Point with my friends and it was relaly fun. Maybe it's just me because I love getting off campus, for whatever reasons, but there were tons of college aged people from all the surrounding schools and some of the costumes were great. I probably wouldn't suggest going for the weak of heart or if you don't like large somewhat belligerent crowds maybe it's not the scene for you, but it's really festive and going with a bunch of friends safety isn't really an issue if you're smart and don't go wandering off by yourself.
Basically as far as I'm concerned a cardinal rule for living in Baltimore is to not be stupid and just use your common sense. I would never go wandering around the shadier parts of town by myself or even with a couple friends. Don't drink things you've taken your eyes off of, take care of your friends and always have one person you're looking out for and who is looking out for you - yeah the buddy system seems archaic but I can't tell you how many parties I've left to help a friend get home...it's just the right thing to do people.
Daniel's birthday was unfortunately on a Monday this year, but I still baked him cupcakes and we watched Mulan. I don't care what they say there is NO wrong age to watch a Disney movie. Personally I'm a die hard Lion King and Alladin fan...those are probably two of my favourite movies of all time actually...
My fall finals period was really intense, well, I don't really have the right words however I did have a post that was a pretty dead on insight into my psyche at the time so I'm just going to let that speak for me: Roxi losing her mind.
And then all of a sudden the semester had flown by and I couldn't believe a) it was over or b) I'd actually survived. This year I didn't go home for Thanksgiving, so when I went home for Christmas I think having been gone so long made me appreciate going back. I wasn't there for long though, I think I had a 10 day break and then it was back to Baltimore to start Wilderness First Responder (WFR) training over Intersession and on my weekends off from that intense, 80-hour course, I made a weekend trip out to Pittsburgh to visit my friend Ted.
Wow what can I say about WFR? I don't think it's for everyone, first of all it's a huge commitment to be there the whole time absorbing information, it really requires you to be on your A game...but it is my humble opinion that any pre-med student should take some kind of first responder/EMT type course. I learnt so much from just those two weeks that I've been able to carry into my later later experiences with medical care and emergency type situations. And on top of that it was just downright fun. In the grand scheme of my Hopkins experiences the time I spent in WFR class with the other OP-leaders is at the top of my list. The night scenario where they took us out to the woods about 30 minutes north of campus and we had a scenario where we had to "build a fire" and construct shelter for our wounded patient...I'm pretty sure I thought I was going to lose a toe I was so cold that night but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
WFR didn't take up all of my intersession though, I finally made it out to Washington D.C. to see all the monuments and such and I saw my suitemate in a fencing competition (which was really cool but now I'm a little scared to get on her bad side!) And I saw the Sirens perform and made a little movie with one of my really good friend's solos (Erin has one of the most amazing voices and stage presences! I was 100% blown away).
Looking back now, Spring semester started at a run and even though at the time it didn't seem like it, now I can't believe how fast it passed. When spring semester starts, since we have such a late start because of Intersession, before you know it it's Valentine's Day and by that time you're already studying for your first round of Mid terms. I guess the fact that I was busy with Cell Biology, Orgo II and working in a research lab helped make the time fly, but my goodness I don't know where the time went.
I guess with all the confessions I made on my Favourites post it's time I made another confession: I hated my lab when I first started in it. Like I said earlier, I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to be "in the dark" I guess you would say and it bugs me to have to be perpetually asking basic questions and the whole catching up process. But on top of that my post-doc and I had a huge language barrier...it wasn't anyone's fault, I mean I can't imagine just coming to this country from China and never having had to speak English before and all of a sudden needing to communicate in this exceedingly complex language. At first I felt bad because I thought she thought I was dumb and absolutely incompetent...really I just didn't know how to ask the right questions and she didn't have the vocabulary built up to answer or explain things to the level I wanted/needed.
But it did get better, slowly but surely. I learnt so much this semester about dealing with other people and learning how to effectively communicate, skills I would never have thought I would learn in the lab of all places. I guess that's what I'm trying to get at through all my belly-aching. Hopkins has all these amazing resources that students here can tap into if you and even if you find out that lab work and research really aren't for you (or insert any of a myriad of educational opportunities people get involved in) they are never truly negative experiences. Camilla will attest to this - I had a really rough time when I started feeling inadequate and I just couldn't imagine it would get better and I'd ever been a good researcher and there were days I'd been in the lab just to find out a dye had destroyed my last 6 hours worth of PCRs and gels and I just wanted to get up and quit, but I didn't and now every day I got into my lab I'm glad I stuck with it, because now I love what I do, even pulling the testes out of flies (which at first really creeped me out).
Anyway next thing I knew it was the week before Spring Break and I took my first trip to New York which was just so much fun and the city was great, although I don't know that I'd ever want to be there a very long time, it's a little TOO big and flashy for me...but I still loved the subways! Spring Break brought with it more traveling to new and exotic locals. I'd never been to Canada before so we went up to Buffalo, New York for "THE Original Buffalo Wings" and then up to Niagra Falls and Toronto. Then, I'm still not sure what compelled me to do do this, but we drove down to Austin to see Richard Dawkins speak at UT then over to Houston to visit our families for a day then back to Baltimore. Lots of driving but I got to see A LOT of the country, which I guess was good we did it then now that gas is going over $4 a gallon!
Ahh and the much anticipated Hopkins CRIBs! post. I love making that post every year! And now that I'm getting somewhat better with Windows Movie Maker it's fun to ad little blurbs at the bottom...I'm a huge fan of comic relief.
And then, I took a chance on a blog and it really payed off, the No Joke blog. So here's what I didn't preface that post with: I had probably one of the most trying, difficult weeks of my life before I wrote that blog. I think that was the first time at Hopkins where I got through a bunch of tests and papers and whatever I had to do and just thought to myself, is this really worth it?
I was burnt out, tired, cranky...all I wanted to do was go home or go to a community college somewhere and be done with fighting the curve and studying until all hours of the night. I was frustrated by the energy I had exerted and not knowing if those tests had gone well or not while I knew that there were people out there cruising through school, and some of them go to Hopkins.
I don't know if I'm smart or not, but I DO know that I'm a really hard worker. That's just how I get through life, if I'm not inherently good at something I work at it, and work and work some more. There are somethings that just don't come easily to me, and I recognize them and chug away (like Chemistry and Orgo)...but that's just my personal philosophy. Anyway I was frustrated there are people at Hopkins, and everywhere really, who put in a quarter of the time I put in, don't do well, and complain...which aggravates to no end. Or maybe I'm just easily excitable...I'll ponder that Monday at work.
So with Orgo and Cell Bio winding down it was Spring Fair and my birthday! I'm just going to go ahead and say Spring Fair is one of my favourite Hopkins events. I love that the community comes out and it's one of the only instances where Hopkins students and people from all around are part of our campus community and we have stuff for kids and stores and a beer garden...it's just fun and this year the weather was beautiful and it didn't rain out the bands on the beach so there was live music most o the weekend.
Which brings me to, well, the present . School is over and I have somehow found myself following my dream: of going into Aerospace Medicine. I'm interning at NASA (something I've always wanted to do) and every day I'm learning more about not only the physiological responses to micro gravity but just about medicine in general and what it means to be a doctor. I couldn't be happier...how cool is it that I'm getting paid to learn how to read electrocardiograms and research incidences of cardiovascular disease in astronauts? Sometimes I think it should be ME paying someone to get to do this, but don't tell my boss it's nice not being a broke college student and to be off the Ramen diet!
Every day I meet some new Flight Surgeon or an Astronaut or some guy that worked on the Gemini and Appolo missions and it's been amazing hearing their stories and all the projects they've been involved with. As far as I'm concerned, I hope the Constellation projects (lunar exploration and maybe a manned expedition to Mars) will serve as motivation for my generation to get excited about the space program.
Or even if not the space program, just science. It's unfortunate but having come from a public school education I feel like I can definitively say that the sciences get stigmatized and I know, for example, some people I went to school with just got it in their heads from an early age that you have to be a genius to be a scientist or there are people who are "too dumb" to even like science, so maybe my generation can change how science is portrayed to the next generation...
Allright enough of that! I think that's enough of contemplative-Roxi for now.
So finally the sun has come out and the weather has warmed up and at Hopkins that means only one thing: Spring Fair and my birthday :)
So maybe I wasn't as excited about this birthday as I was about 16 (driving!) and 18 (no more juvenile record...not that I had one :-/)...but hey it's been a pretty good couple of decades, and according to Michelle, she learnt at the "Body World" exhibit that after 19 the brain stops growing and teenagers stop being moody and socially awkward, so all signs point to I'm going to be mad normal from here on out! (Yea right!)
Anyway my birthday was great. Sam and Daniel made beef fajitas for dinner and I spent the afternoon out on the Beach chilling and enjoying the sunshine. I also had a lab meeting, here is a picture of people I work with, they're just great, but I'll talk more about them in a later blog :).
Then this last weekend was Spring Fair. Basically I can't say enough about Spring Fair, it's just a great weekend to be a Hopkins student or even just a member of the Hopkins/Charles Village/Baltimore community. Even if you're not over 21 and can't get into the Beer Garden outside of the President's house (they set up a bunch of stands that sell beer on the front lawn of the President's House - right by the the Hopkins Club) there is plenty to do.
For students there are stands that sell little homemade goods and tons of food, everything from funnel cake to Mediterranean, Thai to deep fried cheesecake, chicken on a stick to frozen lemonade...except basically everyone I know has been rolling around this week in the aftermath of all the fatty foods we all consumed. Also, all afternoon Friday, most of the day Sunday and part
of Sunday there are live bands out on the Beach.
Spring Fair also hosts a band every year. This year one of my favourite bands ever: Real Big Fish came and they were absolutely brilliant. I called my little brother to rub in his face I was at a concert of our favourite high school bands and now, I'm not going to lie, I kind of have a weird urge to just drop out of school and be a bass trombonist in a band (just don't tell my dad he'd kill me!)...also I don't play bass trombone, but these are all minor details I figure I could work out :).
However, one of the things that struck me more this year than last year was what a community event it is. The university brings in a small amusement park: ferris wheel, big swing, arcade games, etc. between Krieger and the Mattin Center and when I went to check it out there were tons of kids and their parents 
outside having fun. There is also a corner of the Freshmen Quad over by Homewood House where people had a moon walk and blow up balloon animals and bubbles and Disney music for small children.
I'm not criticizing Hopkins because this campus does a lot for the community between university efforst and the countless hours of volunteering done by our students through the Office of Social Concern, but most of those effots happen off campus. You barely ever see families and children on campus and sometimes it feels like Hopkins is an island, and there's a moat or something that keeps the community off campus.
HOWEVER Spring Fair weekend is the exception. For 3 great days in the 
year people of all walks and ages come onto campus to celebrate the weather. People my grandparent's ages and teens from local middle and high schools sit around on the tables they set up on the Freshman Quad eating and enjoying the music. Young families and recent alumni come back and current students take a weekend off of working, gearing up for the final crunch before the end of the semester by taking a much deserved sanity break. The Hopkins campus actually looks like other campuses with people everywhere to be seen and everything from frisbee to football (I even saw the lacrosse team construct a skate ramp out of tables unused tables!) being played on the beach.
Oh gosh now I'm getting nostalgic and I have a lot of work ahead of me! Can't give up now, I have 2 weeks exactly until I'm done with my last final - who can believe its so soon?! - so I'm going to crank down on my Cell Bio and Orgo studying...2 weeks till I'm done with my pre-med classes! We'll see how I feel about that when its all said and done.
Yes, that's right it's CRIBS! Acceptance letters went out today and let me just take this opportunity to send a HUGE congratulations to the regular decision acceptees of the class of 2012!. I'm going to give you a sneak peak into what your living situation could be if you come here your sophomore year.
So I'm currently living in McCoy Hall. We're across N. Charles St. from the library and Wolman, a freshman dorm, is right next door. Suites in this building generally have a kitchen, a bathroom, and either 2 double bedrooms or 2 singles and a double. I live in 2 doubles so I have my amazing roommate, Camilla, and Samantha and Tashi - my best friends from my floor freshman year in AMR II.
First, check out my video: we had a lot of fun making this, hope you enjoy it too!
Now the written tour! When you first walk in we have a hallway which we have decorated with christmas lights and advertisements of good looking gentlemen we've found in magazines. But have no fear, this is a democracy: we all have to vote a boy onto 
the wall.
The first room on the right is the bathroom. One of these pictures is of our amazing shower curtain, Camilla and I picked it out at the begining of the year and there are two matching floor rugs to go with it :) We have a relatively small bathroom for this building but we bought some storage to put our bathroom stuff (see video).
Then as you keep walking in you see our kitchen. Samantha and Mark were cooking when I took these pictures. We're 
having a big dinner party tonight: Chicken cabbbage fajitas and something else...southwest themed at any rate! We actually have 2 fridges: one came with the suite and it's the one Samantha is showing off here, and the other we rented from microfridges and it came with a little microwave (which we utilize very frequently I'll have you know.)
Moving on we have my room. Camilla and I have a Japanese theme going on and that explains the wall we use as a bookshelf and the banners up over both our desks and the bed. My desk has all my essentials: computer, hard drive, tons of text books, and most importantly at the moment: Organic Chemistry. Then we have our bed and armoir. Normally double rooms come with two twin beds, I promise. Except in ours we pushed the beds together at the begining of the year and now it's like having a sleep over every night with your best friend. Kinda cool and I'm not going to lie, I'm a pretty short kid so having the two pushed together is the perfect length for me to curl up and be comfortable.
Finally we've got our window. We're on a pretty high floor so our windows 
have great views of campus and in Samantha and Tashi's room you can see a JHMI Shuttle stop and al the way down St. Paul street to the Inner Harbour. For anyone who saw my crib last year we had the grotto under my bed. Well the good news is it came with us this year! Now it sits under a window and it's usually where people sit when they come over for dinner or to study or just chat, what have you.
Well that's my room in a nutshell. As much as I loved AMR II last year, I love my suite maybe a weeeeee bit more this year. Having a kitchen has been amazing: I love cooking my own meals and I'm a pretty clean person, as are the people I'm living with, so we keep the bathroom clean and dishes in the kitchen done etc.
SO here's the thing...there are only a grand total of ~6 weeks left of Spring some absolutely refuse to believe it. Spring semester always flies by but once Spring Break is over it just goes so fast!
And that's where I find myself.
Spring break was absolutely phenomenal. Daniel and I decided to forgo going home and stayed in the north. After my cell bio test we packed up with another friend of ours, Cali, and hit the open road. First stop: Pittsburgh.
Happily for us, one of our best friends, Ted, goes to U Pitt so we went to stay at his amazing bachelor pad. And by amazing I mean its a huge dive and it's run down in a highly suspect neighborhood with a really creepy back alleyway you have to walk through to get from his car to the front door. Therefore we love it. It's small and smells, well, like run down building...but it's still fun to all cram into his apartment. It kinda makes us feel like mahybe we really are growing up and this is the first step (even if it is a baby step) toward real independence and being adults. So that night Ted took the Hopkins kids, and his girlfriend Julie, out to this place called the Overlook I believe, basically it's a mountainside across the river from the city that overlooks everything and we stopped for a photo op. I even taught myself how to use the night setting on my digital camera.
After Pittsburgh we headed up to Niagra Falls and the border. We met a friend of Cali's at The Anchor Bar in Buffalo, home to the buffalo wing, and TEd, Daniel, and Dan all manned up and ate a I don't even know how many chickens each. Somehow we convinced Cali's friend Dan to head across the border with us and we all got soaked looking at the falls and enjoyed being able to legally gamble in Canada. I'm happy to report a won a whole $3.50...but Daniel showed me up by winning $200 on roulette. How you win $200 on roulette without just being mad lucky I'll never fathom. Oh well. Johns Hopkins: $203.50, Canada: $0.
Then we went up to Toronto. I've never been before but we found a hotel in the city and checked out an Irish bar and Grill and spent the night in the city. The next morning we didn't mean to but ended up on an epic journey across town which, as coincidence would have it, led us straight into a St. Patrick's day parade. We then checked out a park on the water (and had a snow ball war - and I say war because this was no wishy washy "fight") and headed back to the States.
A couple more days in Pittsburgh just hanging out with Ted and Julie and we found ourselves back in Baltimore...just hanging out and resting before the final stretch.
And now I'm in lab. Sometimes coming back to Hopkins is sureal - it's easy to forget that my lifestyle includes late nights at the library and days in class and working in lab after spending a week just chilling and seeing the country. Oh well! Lots of good stuff is coming up, namely:
But okay must focus: here and now I've got a gel that needs some attention and orgo tests coming up, till then!
